All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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