we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
