people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
