We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
