so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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