Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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