Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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