Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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