I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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