if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
