I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
