and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
