I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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