i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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