It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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