this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
do herpes really smell.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
