My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
