I heard we made out
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
