this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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