just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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