In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
