yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
