I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize