come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize