one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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