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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities

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• (716): View more from New York

  Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (785): View more from Kansas

  for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out

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• (818): View more from California

  Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.

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• (925): View more from California

  Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I love you but I don't want to see you naked.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.

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