I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
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It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
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no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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