Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
