he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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