what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
