we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
