batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
