lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
