can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
