You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
