what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize