Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
