im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
