I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
