we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
