Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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