in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
