My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
