i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i think im in europe. pls send help
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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