Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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