y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
