The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
