So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
