just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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