Four minutes until I can fart!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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