The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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