Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
