Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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