I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize