He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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