do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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