This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
